Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Page 5

Ten Common Arguments Against Equal Parenting and Why They Don’t Make Sense (WTDMS).

1. Equal parenting makes kids less safe. WTDMS: Sole custody, particularly sole maternal custody, increases the risk to kids of physical abuse and neglect. Mom’s new boyfriend is statistically a greater sexual abuse threat than dad and sex predators often target kids without dads as victims. Equal parenting reduces conflict in the divorce process and in the longer term. This all shows that equal parenting is far safer for kids than the status quo of family courts, sole custody.

2. We should not have presumptions (i.e. equal parenting) in the law. WTDMS: We have all sorts of presumptions in law: the presumption of innocence and in family law the presumption that the husband is the father of a child of the marriage. This is mostly done to set the burden of proof. Married parents are both equally responsible for their children. Equal parenting simply continues this presumption in divorce with the burden of proof on whoever wishes to change that equal responsibility. This presumption makes sense.

3. Equal parenting is “one size fits all” but each case needs to be considered specially. WTDMS: The existing system is the “one size fits all” status quo of father “access” twice a month, if allowed. Equal parenting works to incentivize parents to work out their own varied and flexible arrangements: split custody, alternating school years, parallel parenting, parenting plans, joint custody, alternating residence, and a myriad of others. Family courts do not consider each case individually, but jam the overwhelming majority of parents into an outdated, sexist, inflexible stereotype.

4. Mothers do most parenting so naturally should get custody. WTDMS: Measuring parenting by child care hours excludes much of what fathers do. Fathers actually put in more time in the teen years and seem to have stronger influences on positive outcomes for children, in educational and social success, for example. Pre-separation parenting time does not predict post-separation children’s needs. Balanced research shows that kids need both parents,

5. Courts award custody to the best parent. WTDMS: 90% of “awards” are sole maternal custody, but 90% of fathers are not unfit. Children need and benefit from both parents. The best parent is both parents.

6. The system follows “best interests of the child” WTDMS: The legal system follows precedent and the interests of those who pay the most. It is a “winner take all” system with bias toward sole custody. Even judges admit the system is too costly, too slow, too subject to procedural gamesmanship and does not make sense for children and parents.

7. Equal parenting is impractical as it means enforcing exactly equal time for each parent. WTDMS: Equal parenting within marriage does not enforce exactly equal time so why misinterpret it that way in divorce? It means equal status and respect for both parents. It means one parent, or the court cannot arbitrarily reduce the other parent’s time with the kids or exclude that parent, without showing unfitness based on good evidence.

8. The problem is bad parents; the current system is doing the best it can. WTDMS: The adversarial family law system forces parents to fight while they are emotionally vulnerable, providing incentives for false and exaggerated accusations. Non-adversarial systems in effective use in various jurisdictions, show that the overwhelming majority of parents can work out their own shared parenting plans and make them work if the perverse incentives of the legal system are not rewarded.

9. The system has made lots of effective changes. WTDMS: the percentage of real joint custody, or equal parenting has not changed in forty years of “window-dressing” reforms. Fathers only get custody, according to Dr. Ed. Kruk’s analysis of Justice Canada data, when women do not go for sole custody. The advice to fathers from the legal profession has not changed in 40 years: you almost certainly won’t get joint custody, and you can’t afford the court system. Legal professionals claim wonderful changes every few years, but these don’t affect outcomes and increase the cost, time and complexity of family law.

10. “Parents need no rights as those rights conflict with children’s needs”. WTDMS: Parents have responsibility for their children and need rights to get health and educational information on their children, and to represent their interests. Comparatively, legal and other professionals have no responsibility for the consequences of their actions or inactions in the legal system, as long as they don’t violate their “code of conduct.” Responsibility without rights is slavery. Rights without responsibility is tyranny. Parents need a balance of rights and responsibilites.

by Glenn Cheriton, with thanks to Fathers and Families and Robert Franklin

Barbara Kay Video Condemns Family Courts

Here’s a 45-minute video of equal parenting supporter and journalist Barbara Kay giving a speech to the Canadian Association for Equality in Toronto. It’s worth watching for the reasons that Kay’s columns are worth reading. She knows her facts and has the largeness of spirit necessary to see past the anti-father bias that’s so common in public discourse, popular culture, the news media and of course, family courts. Kay sees the suffering of fathers and children clearly and fearlessly calls the courts on this abuse.
We do know that, in Canada, effectively 90% of child custody goes solely to mothers. There has been little or no change for decades despite all the social science showing it to be harmful to kids. In 1997, a special joint Senate-Commons committee was created to advise the government on the issue of child welfare post-divorce or separation. Barbara Kay cites the report, entitled “For the Sake of the Children,” key finding: “the sole custody adversarial system as it pertains to the majority of custody and access disputes denies children and non-custodial parents basic human rights, putting children’s emotional and psychological health at risk.” The report went on to recommend establishing in law a presumption of equal parenting, where no issues of safety were demonstrated, as best for children.
Kay mentioned that poll after poll show that Canadians overwhelmingly support equal parenting.
But successive governments, both Liberal and Conservative, have refused to act on these recommendations or on the interests of children and parents. As we all know, continuing efforts to make a presumption of equal parenting the law of the land have been blocked by vested interests. Equal parenting and divorce law reform are two of the promises for change in the policy of the Conservative Party.
Despite social science, despite the recommendations of the Joint committee, Canadian family courts continue their destructive anti-father and sole custody bias, handing custody to mothers and cutting fathers out of their children’s lives, to the detriment of all. And in every case it’s done while piously and hypocritically hiding under the excuse of “the best interests of the child.”
The institutional disgrace that are the family courts of Canada continues in spite of evidence, public support for change, and basic humanity. Barbara Kay covers a lot more ground than just family law reforms, but this video comes highly recommended. Thanks to CAFE for organizing this event and thanks the Barbara Kay for such a good speech.
(adapted with permission from Robert Franklin, Fathers and Families)

Happy equal parenting Mother’s Day

May 13th is a day to honour mothers. Equal parenting advocates respect all mothers for the important parenting that they do.

Parenting is the most important accomplishment that women, or men, can do. It is more than a job, it’s a commitment, a sacrifice, a rewarding investment and much more.

The contributions of mothers are not diminished by the fact that not all mothers are perfect, and some are even dangerous to their kids.

But the fact is that the average untrained and unpaid mother does a better job of raising kids than highly educated, paid government substitutes for parents.

There are lots of heroic mothers and I hope that yours is among that remarkable group. Nothing that these heroic mothers do diminishes in the least from what fathers contribute, kids’ need for fathers and the importance of the relationship between mothers and fathers. We need to value mothers and to value the relationship between mothers and fathers.

A special greeting on this special day to those mothers who may not see or hear from their children today. It is important to recognize that mothers can be non-custodial parents too. Equal parenting aims to keep both parents in the lives of their children and that includes mothers who have lost custody for no good reason. Often, they too have given up custody because of the conflict created by the adversarial system and feel that it is best not to put their children through it.

Thus, we work to change a system so that it will be a collaborative, conflict-resolution, respectful and system which treats both parents with equality. Mothers are what they are. Fathers are what they are. The system of family separation is what needs to change. It is the problem.

Happy equal parenting Mother’s Day to all of you.

So, this Mother’s Day, we ask all equal parenting supporters to call or meet their mothers, and thank them for all that they have done, regardless of past differences. Acts of gratitude will help make us all better parents and better people.

President meets with PMO staff

The president of the Canadian Equal Parenting Council met with staff of the Prime Minister’s Office in April 2012. They discussed consultation with Justice Canada, amongst other concerns.

Family Issues are Parenting Issues

In the discussion of “family” issues, the voice and role of parents is often excluded. Too often parents are dismissed or ignored.

“Ignoring parents in family issues is like ignoring entrepreneurs in discussion of business issues” says Glenn Cheriton, president of the Canadian Equal Parenting Council (CEPC), a national voice for parents and equality.

“Parents raise families. Governments don’t raise families, they raise taxes.” says Cheriton.

Without the viewpoint of parents, who do successfully the vast majority of child-raising, discussion of issues is one sided and incomplete. The “professionals” and “experts” have their own agendas and financial interests which profit from anti-parent stereotyping. At the same time professionals and their associations seek to avoid any independent responsibility for the outcomes of their involvement.

Courts, child and family services and other state agencies often treat parents as unpaid employees with unlimited work hours and “no rights, only responsibilities.” Parents are stereotyped unfairly as “deadbeat dads” or “lazy welfare moms”. Sometimes a single horrific case of child neglect is generalized to blame and shame all parents. Child abuse in government run organizations is too often covered up and paid caregivers avoid responsibility.

Often, governments refer to professionals in law and social agencies as the only “stakeholders”, while neglecting or refusing equal status or consultations with parents.

In the native residential school system, children were taken from parents by state agencies and others acting with state authority, ostensibly for the “children’s best interests” but the hidden agenda was removing the cultural influence of the parents. The financial interests of government, Indian agencies and church organizations were not revealed until later, and parents’ views were ignored.

Parents are the only sustainable family or child-raising system. Government-run systems may be necessary in a small minority of cases, but these require huge inputs of tax dollars and show outcomes for children which are significantly inferior to untrained and unsupported parents.

The mission of CEPC is to represent the views of parents, to empower parents to best raise their children, to promote equal treatment of, and respect for parents, while promoting due process and clear standards in any state involvement in removing children from their parents.

Media can call the Canadian Equal Parenting Council on issues involving children for a viewpoint to balance the opinions of those who earn their living from government and quasi-government “child and family” industries.

Glenn Cheriton, co-President, CEPC

Children’s Issues are Parenting Issues, says national equal parenting advocacy group

Parents need a voice to provide balance to media coverage of children’s and family issues, says the Canadian Equal Parenting Council (CEPC).

In the coverage of children’s issues, the voice of parents is often missing, and too often denigrated or dismissed as self-serving or self-interest. The “professionals” and “experts” so often quoted have their own agendas and financial interests involved. Without the viewpoint of parents, who do successfully the vast majority of child-raising, the issues are one sided and incomplete.

Courts, child and family services and other state agencies often treat parents as unpaid employees with unlimited work hours and “no rights, only responsibilities.” Parents are stereotyped unfairly as “deadbeat dads” or “lazy welfare moms”. Sometimes a single horrific case of child neglect is generalized to blame and shame all parents. Often, governments refer to professionals in law and social agencies as the only “stakeholders”, while neglecting or refusing equal consultations with parents.

In the native residential school system, children were taken from parents by state agencies and others acting with state authority, ostensibly for the “children’s best interests” but the hidden agenda was removing the cultural influence of the parents. The financial interests of government, Indian agencies and church organizations were not covered by media at the time, and parents’ views were ignored.

Parents are the only sustainable child-raising system. Government-run systems may be necessary in a small minority of cases, but these require huge inputs of tax dollars and show outcomes for children which are significant inferior to untrained and unsupported parents.

The CEPC is dedicated to representing the views of parents, empowering parents to best raise their children, promoting equal treatment of, and respect for parents, while promoting due process and clear standards in any state involvement in removing children from their parents.

Glenn Cheriton, co-President, CEPC

Bonjour membres et visiteurs francophones

Bienvenue sur le site Internet du Conseil de l’Égalité Parentale du Canada.

Notre objectif est de devenir une coalition nationale entièrement bilingue d’ici novembre 2010.

Bien que notre site soit en cours de francisation, nous vous offrons ce lien vers le traducteur de Google:

http://www.google.ca/language_tools?hl=fr

Il suffit de taper l’URL de la page Internet que vous souhaitez que Google traduise afin de la lire en français.

Nous espérons que vous vous joindrez à nous bientôt.

Donations

Your financial support is needed so that children and parents do not suffer in divorce.
We appreciate your donation of any amount that you can afford.

Votre appui financier est nécessaire pour assurer aux enfants et à leurs parents un divorce le moins souffrant possible. Nous vous remercions de votre don, quelque soit le montant. Il est essentiel à l’atteinte de nos objectif.

Here’s how:
Click on the Donate button below to make credit card donations

Comment donner?:

Nous offrons deux façons de nous faire parvenir votre don.

General donation/Don discrétionnaire

ou par chèque ou mandat postal payable à:

Canadian Equal Parenting Council. / Conseil de l’égalité Parentale du Canada.

631 Tubman Cr,
Ottawa, Canada
K1V 8L5

Receipts: upon request, we will send you a receipt, however, as we are not a charity, this receipt cannot be used for tax purposes.

Reçus: Nous émettons des reçus sur demande. Toutefois, comme nous ne sommes pas un organisme de charité au sens de la loi sur le Revenu, ce reçu ne peut être utilisé pour des fins fiscales

Bill C-422 Press Release Video

This is the video from Maurice Vellacott’s press release for his equal parenting bill. Thanks Maurice for sending this to us. (video is over 100 megs in size. It may be a ltitle choppy based on your connection speed. If video is choppy simply pause the video so it can download in full before watching).

Support Bill C-422

On June 16, MP Maurice Vellacott (Saskatoon-Wanuskewin) spoke on the introduction of Private Member’s Bill C-422 for a presumption of equal parenting. This bill, if passed, will direct courts in regard to divorce, to make equal shared parenting the presumptive arrangement in the best interests of the child, except in proven cases of abuse or neglect.

Listen to Mr. Vellacott’s speech to the House of Commons here

Left to Right

Lise Bilodeau, MP Raymonde Folco, MP Steven Blaney, MP Maurice Vellacott, Kris Titus, John Menear

On June 17th, Maurice Vellacott hosted a press conference on Bill C-422.

To read the Media Advisories and speeches on this bill visit the CEPC Press Room.

The Canadian Equal Parenting Council and its member organizations are very proud to have played a part in this very important proposed legislation.

Call your MP today and ask them to support Bill C-422 for equal parenting