What is Equal parenting

What is Equal parenting?

Equal parenting is the presumption that parents should share the responsibilities and time of parenting on the basis of equal rights.  Of course, parents may agree to divide duties – who drives the kids to soccer, who cooks certain days, who helps with certain homework – but if they can’t agree, such as in a highly-conflicted divorce, both parents keep equal rights and responsibilities, unless one or both parents is clearly shown to be unfit.

Why do Parents need rights?

Parents need rights because it is the only way to protect the rights of their children. Parents need rights to seek and approve educational and medical services for their kids, to get medical and educational records. Parents without rights have no standing in courts or in government or social service agencies. As minors, children have no standing in courts so parents must represent their rights. Parents without rights mean children without parents and kids without rights.

Why do parents need equality?

Both parents need to be equal in rights to be equally respected and to fulfill equal responsibilities. While no one pretends that all parents provide exactly the same parenting time to their children, or exactly the same financial support, both need equal respect from the law, social services and in support programmes. Equality and respect is the best way to ensure that both parents are involved in kids’ lives, especially after a separation.

Why do kids need both parents?

Kids benefit from healthy male and female role models. They benefit from knowing their parents, grandparents and extended family, from the cultural, religious and moral values they teach.  Parents are long-term, unpaid care-givers, a model for caring for others. The relationship between the mother and father is important also, for showing how to resolve arguments and conflicts. It is the model for future relationships. Research shows that kids who grow up without fathers have higher rates of educational, social and health problems. They are at higher risk of addictions, teenage pregnancy and suicide. A village is not a substitute for parents and government cannot parent. Less research has been done on motherlessness, but generally researchers believe mothers are at least equally important.

What is the movement for Equal Parenting?

This movement, largely of parents and grandparents, seeks social change at three levels:

1. Reform of family law, court procedures and practice

2. Support for parents, particularly those suffering separation or divorce.

3. Education of the public and parents on why both kids need both parents and why equal parenting makes sense.

Why do parents need support?

Divorce is the most stressful event that most people ever go through. It is a time when parents are emotionally fragile and must make important decisions, although vulnerable and upset. Professionals should educate parents and help both stay connected to kids, but sometimes they can view their job as deciding which parent is the “best” parent and exploiting the financial or emotional weakness of one parent to remove a parent from kids’ lives. Parents may need support to get emotionally back in balance, to avoid being exploited by divorce professionals, to understand the divorce system and the effects on their children.